Those little porkies my mother told me

THOSE LITTLE PORKIES MY MOTHER TOLD ME 

(A NOVELLA BY PERFECT INAINFE)

‘Ignorance if not properly treated will totally destroy you, literally damage the tissues within you and finally kill you. A deadly disease it is;

Just when I thought clocking 16 was the best thing ever, when I would turn a young adult and do things my way, it was only my wishful thoughts, it was but wild 'goose chase'.

“Taberah!” Mom shouted my name from her room asking me to go prepare the yam because my daddy was on his way home and dinner was going to be served anytime soon. The last time I checked, dad had grown very tall and had shaved every beard on his face. My daddy was a very busy man who had little or no time for his family due to the nature of his job which made me barely even know him. Most times during study period at home when Mrs. Bali would ask me to write a composition on my last discussion with dad, I would be left with no better option but to create a concoct. I never had the slightest chance to have a tête a tête with him, too bad a relationship it was.

This time, daddy was coming home early for the first time in forever which made me really agog. I ran into the kitchen and put the yam on fire. Need I tell you? Yam was dad's favorite food and he never joked with it, this I knew so well even though we weren't so close. I mean we didn't share what people could possibly call a father and daughter relationship. Speaking about my dad’s favorite food, yam was one food I hated the most in my life but due to my alacrity, I was willing to eat it as though it was my best because dad was going to be at dinner today with us. I prepared the food, set the table for dinner and sat down at the living room watching a movie while waiting for dad’s arrival. 

“I guess he isn't home yet?” Mom shouted sounding very conceded from her room. “Not yet!” I replied with a sigh because it was already 6:30pm and I wasn't sure he was going to show up. I waited one hour more but seeing no trace of him, I became enraged and exasperated. I went into my room and cried my ribs out. I cried so loud making sure that my mom heard my voice because my room was only a stone throw away from hers. The racy thing here is the fact that even if mom heard me crying, she wouldn't do anything about it, as though she never cared.

I never knew if this detail held water but from what grandma told me, and the shrewish attitude in which mom behaved, I believed every bit of the story. Some years back when I had visited grandma and had complained about my mom’s disgusting behavior with her quavering voice. She sat me down and explained to me the reason for my mom’s fiendish behavior in order to quell the freaky and bizarre feeling I was beginning to have.

“Your mom was only 23 years when she got married to your dad” Grandma began. “An arranged marriage it was and your mom never wanted to marry your dad not until she was told by your grandpa that he was going to disown her”. Just as grandma proceeded, I sat qui vive listening to what may come next. 

“Your mom was already a PHD holder at the age of 21 and had everything she ever needed” grandma continued. “Your mom made it clear to her father and I that marriage was not what she wanted and that if she was forced to get married, she wouldn't submit to her husband nor her child”.

Now those words of hers were falling into her perfect pleasant places as she never showed love to me for the fact that she was forced into marriage. It is no doubt to say that my mom was a very beautiful young lady of about 31 years and had every physical quality that a man could possibly want in a woman but candidly, she was without manners, she never had the attitude a good husband would need from a wife nor the love a child would want from a mother. She would return early everyday from work but not a day would she call me and talk to me as a teenage girl growing in this cruel world, not until I clocked 16.

“Come here, Taberah Abiodun Oluwatobin!” she called surprisingly from the living room on a boring rainy Friday evening after she had returned home from work.

Woozy was I when my mom had called me out but I was pretty agog to know what she was going to tell me. Unlike my mom who would go into her room immediately she arrived home from work not minding to know if I had eaten or if my study teachers came over to teach me. I walked into the living room from where she had called and just when I got there, she sat me down and said “Listen and listen good, I'm going to be telling you these things cause you recently turned 16. I would be pleased if you kindly put my words into practice” she added. “Go on mom, I'm listening” I said.

“You know you clocked 16 already and you are no longer a baby”. Just as she spoke, her eyes went up to my chest as she said “You are already having big round balls around your chest and soon enough you would definitely have blood flow down your Vagina monthly”. I smiled to my self because mom never knew I was

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already a complete woman since I turned 14. “I've seen that already” I said to mom. “Mrs. Holy, one of my study teachers had taught me on how to go about it”. “Are you serious?” Mom asked agog and I replied her with a Yes! “But why on earth could you possibly know that when you have no time for me?” I spoke under my breath. “Did you say something?” She asked with a smile but I brushed the question aside, introducing a different discussion altogether. “Go on mom, why exactly did you call me here?”

“There are a few things you should know since you are no longer a baby and am sure your study teachers had never told you these” she continued.

“You should never let a guy go all the way with you else you would get pregnant”. Too twitchy to understand these words of hers, I pleaded for her to break down the words into simple sentences so I could understand, then she said “men are wicked, they will use you and when they put you in a family way, they would disappear to only God knows where”. Still much vague for me, I asked her to explain even more better but at that very instance she became crabby and answered in a very harsh tone.

“I'm simply saying you should never let a man touch you else you'd get pregnant”. Still obfuscating for me to understand, I pleaded for her to explain more. “Go into your room now!”, “I'm done talking” she replied me and went into her room to snooze off.

Wacky enough for one to laugh, I walked into my room, picked up a novel and just when I was about flipping through the pages, I heard someone call out my name from the living room.

The voice sounded familiar but I really could not tell who it was and so I concluded it was Dayo, mom’s driver. He may have called for me to bring him the car key so he could wash the car after the days trip. I walked down with the car key and was amused by the very sight of whom I saw. Dad. Standing close to the television in the living room, just like that, my eyes moved straight to the wall clock hanging by the left corner of the dining table and surprisingly, the time was just 7:42pm and my dad was home. This was definitely some sort of a miracle because I had finally seen him again after three months. It was either he was busy at work or out of the country with some silly excuse that he had business ventures to deal with. I moved close to him, went low on my knees and greeted him (as it was in accordance with the Yoruba culture for a female, to greet). “How have you been these past few months?” He asked me but I couldn't even answer his question because I was engrossed in his looks and how he had completely changed this past three months. If I could remember vividly, the last time I saw dad, he was without beard but just in three months his beard had so grown so much that it had a mixture of white and black hairs and his head totally bald. “How time flies!” He said to me. “My baby is now grown up and I was told by your mom that you clocked 16 already”. I smiled at him with the intention of asking him why he had returned home and surprisingly so early a time, but I held back my peace and just enjoyed the moment while it lasted. “Come here and give me a hug” said dad to me but never will I do that else he's going to get me pregnant. Exactly what mom told me! If I could rekindle the very words of mom, “never let a guy touch you else you'd get pregnant”.

You may want to know why I had little or no knowledge about these things and the reason why I'd believed every word my mother had told me. For your information, I'd never have left my house except from some Sundays ago when I had to go for Sunday service with the driver and mom. You may also want to know if I do not attend school but in order to clear your doubts and give answers to your sizzling questions, I'd fathom every detail about my studies.

Ever since my early childhood, I'd done what mom called stay home study. From childhood on till this very day I'd only known my house, the church and grandma and grandpa's house. I was already in SS3 and was going to be taking the SSCE anytime soon and with this, I had the assurance that I wasn't going to sit at home to take the exams as it was an external examination, I believe daddy was going to enroll me in a secondary school but then again, I wondered to myself; “if I could sit at home to write my Junior WAEC examination, grandpa could also make me take my SSCE examinations here at home”. My grandpa being my mom’s dad had three years back arranged that I take my Junior WAEC exam at home. Need I say more? Grandpa was the ex President of the country, Nigeria, and was very influential in nature. A popular name he went by; Edmond Douglas Akinola Segun and maybe just because he was Yoruba, he forced mom into marrying a Yoruba man which she is married to now.

My dad’s name is Abiodun Oluwatobin and so, when mom got married to dad, she became Mrs. Alvira Abiodun Oluwatobin rather than Mrs. Douglas Akinola Segun. 

“Come closer and hug me” dad repeated but I was so scared for the fact that I was only 16 and was going to mother a child for my dad if I hugged him. He looked shifty at me and said with a spunky voice, “I know you are mad at me and you think I have never loved you but that's a big fat lie because I really do love you. The only problem I'm having is balancing work and family and that's the reason you barely even know me”. I smiled to myself as I suddenly looked up to his face and saw tears crawling down his cheek. Quickly he wiped off his tears and said to me, “I've missed those soft hands of yours on my head plucking off my white hair and the beautiful smile you gave”. Just as he spoke, he moved towards me trying to get hold of my hands but I quickly stood up and pretended as though I was whacked from sitting. I wasn't too sure if he had felt bad about my bizarre behavior but I guess he did and never wanted to show it. “Your mom is home, right?” He asked with a fake smile on his face and just without a word I gave a yes nod. “Go call her for me” he added. “I've news for you and I want her to be here just when I spill out the beans”. I quickly ran upstairs to her room, gave her the message and came back to the living room where dad sat already watching a movie. We waited for about an hour plus before mom showed up in the living room. “It took you forever?” dad said to mom but she said nothing in reply.

Sometimes I wondered what kind of a woman she was. Except from the very fact that she was a mother to me, I probably wouldn't advice any single man out there searching for a wife to hook up with a lady like her because she had no manners. Perhaps this was because her dad had pampered her so much in the past; the only thing she was ever good at was sleeping and going to work.

“Well!” dad continued with a sigh. “I called you here to inform you that Taberah will be taking the SSCE at Kadori High school, Ikohi Lagos”. “No way!” Mom objected. “My daughter will not be living this house for any reason whatsoever and if you still want to proceed on this, my dad will have to come in”.

“Your dad had always made decisions for our daughter”, dad said to mom. “Will he also keep her home even at the university level? Don’t you think Taberah should get herself associated with people out there?” Dad asked politely but mom wouldn't listen. “Our daughter is 16 already” said dad to mom, “and am sure it is only fair we give her the privilege to make certain decisions about her life, so if you don’t mind or even if you do mind, I'm going to ask Taberah what she wants for herself”. “Taberah dear!” he called on me. “What do you have to say about this?”

Immediately I heard this question, I looked up at the face of mom as she looked back at me with a scowl. When I saw her look, I said to dad; “I'd rather stay home to take the exams” and I looked up at her again as she smiled showing her open teeth and her lovely deep dimples. Perhaps that was the very reply she wanted from me. Not what I wanted though, I wanted to see the world, associate with people, make friends of my own but her looks had made me to say no to it. “You want to continue being an island all your life?” Dad asked but without a reply, I bent my head down low to the ground. “Well!” he continued. “I'd be gone for six months; I have a business deal at Turkey and must round it up before next year's Easter draws nigh”. “It's not a new thing!” Mom replied. “Spend as much time as you desire outside the country but make sure you bring in money in order to take care of your child because I'm definitely not going to spend my money on her”.

I looked straight into her eye's and wondered if this woman even loved me, maybe just for the fact that I came into this world through her womb but I tried not to reason it.

“Its Christmas season already, aren't you going to spend the Christmas holiday with me?” I asked dad with a wan voice. “You see baby”, he explained. “I really have to go else my business partners will close the deal but I tell you what…” he added. “I'd talk to my brother into coming over since your mom has little or no time for you”. I wouldn't say I was okay with the idea of uncle Tewatope coming over but still he was better than nobody. Uncle Tewatope was the spitting image of dad because they were twins, not identical though but they shared similar physical features. He had always acted as the dad I needed but the last time I saw him was six years back when I was just ten, He had a wife and three children.

Wondering how I could possibly cope with mom’s advice and uncle Tewatope's presence at home, I became scared but was really agog to see him. A mixed feeling I had here. 

“And why should your brother come around to look after my daughter when I'm here?” Mom asked exasperatedly. But look here, even if my dad were to ask me if uncle Tewatope was to come over, I'd immediately say yes not minding if mom will be giving me any roughish look whatsoever and besides, she'd never shown me any form of attention and I was sure uncle Tewatope would.

“You are giving me headache, woman!” Dad shouted at mom after trying to keep his cool for a long time. “Tewatope will come over whether you want it or your dad does not and that's final”. Immediately, he picked up his car key, looked up at mom with a scowl and disappeared. That was definitely the last time I saw dad, definitely the last.

The Christmas season was already bobbling and mom had hired some workers to put Christmas decorations around the house. Now the spirit of Christmas was alive and wasn't going to be dying anytime soon with Christmas songs, hymns and especially grandma and grandpa's presence at our resident. But still, uncle Tewatope had not showed up.

24th of December, a day before Christmas, I was lying on the couch in the living room watching a Christmas movie dad had sent for me from Turkey when I heard a knock on the door. I walked to the door, pushed it open and look who I saw, uncle Tewatope! I shouted happily but never made a move to touch or hug him. I only looked low to his hands in which he held two big bags giving me the assurance that he was going to be staying long. “You've grown so big” he said still standing at the door way, “see how time flies!” he added. I smiled at him inviting him inside as I collected the lighter bag from his hands which were indeed heavy for me. 

“Thanks Taberah!” he acknowledged and walked into the living room heading for a seat. Just when he had sat down, he asked if mom was in and I replied with a yes but that she was probably snoozing. “Okay then”, he concluded. “Let me go take a shower, when I'm done I'd see her”. I walked him to his room still carrying one of his bags and just as we got there, I put the bag down and told him to come down for dinner immediately he was done. He smiled at me as I walked out through the door and shut it behind me. “Who came in?” Mom asked shouting from her room immediately I got back to the living room. “Uncle Tewatope”, I replied her and she said nothing again. I guessed she probably just snoozed off.

Soon enough uncle Tewatope came down to the living room all freshened up smelling so good. “Your food is served already!” I said to him pointing to the dining table. “Thanks a lot Taberah” he said then headed towards the dining table. I was still sitting in the parlor watching my movie when he asked; “aren't you hungry?” But I pretended not to hear him and acted as though I was engrossed in the movie I was watching. “Taberah! Aren't you hungry?” He asked again. “I'd eat later” I replied him. “Later ke! Come here and eat with me joor!” He concluded with a smile. I stood up, put the movie I was watching on pause and moved to the dining table, sitting on the next chair so that one chair could demarcate us. “You are now a big girl” he said to me. If you'd ever heard uncle Tewatope talking, you'd laugh out your ribs because his ascent had lots of Yoruba. This definitely should enlighten you that my uncle was a typical Yoruba man from Lagos state. As we began to eat, I felt pretty shy but knew not the reason for my shyness. “So now you will be forming to eat?” He asked looking straight into my eyes. Though I could tell he was only teasing but my shyness wouldn't let me speak. “I remember vividly the last time I saw you” he added. “You were only but a small girl of about 10 years and now your looks can possibly make a man go mad, literally take a man to his grave”. “Your body, your curved body” he emphasized “is what a man wants”. On hearing this, I felt really uncomfortable as to why uncle Tewatope would be saying such rubbish to my face but he managed to wind my thoughts over. “I know what you may be thinking” he said with a roughish smile on his face. “I really do not think it a crime to admire God’s creature and my brother's only child” he said. I gave a wan smile, stood up, adjusted my trousers and moved away without a word, abandoning the food he had earlier offered me.

Christmas day came and there was indeed lots of fun that I wished the day never came to an end. Uncle Tewatope, grandparents, mom and I had lots of fun but soon after, the Christmas and new year’s celebrations were over and grandpa and grandma had to go back to their residence with mom resuming work immediately and as for me, I still had one more week before resuming my studies so I was left home with uncle Tewatope.

January 4th, 2030, a Tuesday afternoon, 2:30pm precisely I'd never forget. I'd just finished taking my afternoon bath and was about wearing my clothes when I heard a knock on the door of my room. Just before I could spill out the word wait! The door went open as I saw uncle Tewatope looking at me with lust in his eyes. I quickly picked up a towel to cover myself but it was too small for my body in whole. “Why killing yourself over nothing?” He said as he moved towards me shutting the door behind him. “What do you think you are doing?” I asked him as tears began to roll down my cheek. “My mom told me never to let a man touch me else I'd get pregnant” I added. “But your mom never said sex could get you pregnant, right?” He asked. “Haven't you always wanted to be happy?” He added. “Now happiness is a three letter word which is sex” and immediately, he bounced on me lying completely naked on the bed and the deed was done.

Thinking this was never a sin unto God and man and for every fact that our pastor in church had never preached about this except for money and wealth. Finally I'm happy I said to myself hours after the deed was done. I'd tell mom this but when I tried to tell her, she cast me away with the silly excuse that she was tired and needed to sleep. Continuously, uncle Tewatope and I went on with the act and it was as though I had no moral scruple but what possibly could I have done, I was now addicted to it and couldn't live a day without it not until Uncle Tewatope had to go back to his family which suddenly gave me a new sex mate; Dayo, mom's driver. Dayo and I secretly had sex without the knowledge of anyone until one day when I felt dizzy and Dayo took me to a quack doctor who told me I was a month pregnant. I told Dayo this but he denied the pregnancy, running off to only God knows where. I was left to carry my cross and I went back to the same quack doctor for an abortion. He gave me some pills and asked me to take them immediately I arrived home which I did. Now this was the beginning of my end.

Now in my room lying on my dying bed as blood filled my bed. I cried so loud that mom heard my voice this time. “Oh my God!” She shouted as she stood aghast at the very sight of blood all over me. “What have you done to yourself” she cried. “I aborted a pregnancy” I said to her. “But I told you never to have sex with a guy?” she said. “No mom you didn't” I replied her. “You'd only told me never to let a man touch me, why couldn't you just teach me about sex education without obfuscating matters?” “I'd tried several times to tell you about my affair with uncle Tewatope but you wouldn't listen”. “I got addicted to sex and when uncle Tewatope left, I continued with Dayo, your ex driver”. 

“Oh no!” She cried. “Why didn't you tell me this, I promise to get everyone of them behind bars”. “Those were only white lies I told you because I never wanted to use the word sex as I thought it was not proper because you were just too young” she concluded. 

“White lies! You call those white lies?” I cried. “Those white lies you once told me had led me to my death”. “I curse the day I came into this world through you, you are fiendish, crabby, wart and all!”, “You couldn't even show me love as a mother and you deprived me of socialization”. “If I'd known better, I'd have stepped up my game but I never did try to make it happen”. 

“You told me porkies, fibs, whoppers and you think they are all white lies?” “Now listen!” I added, “Uncle Tewatope didn't kill me, Dayo didn't kill me, the quack doctor didn't kill me but those little porkies you call white lies did kill me”. Ignorance if not treated can totally destroy, literally damages the tissues within and finally kills. Just like that, I felt my heart sinking below the dust and alas! I kicked the bucket!

THE END.