To have and To Hold

The best thing in life always come through a process of ups and downs in order to to come out the best irrespective of the parties involved if the process is properly followed.

The world today is plagued with so much issues that ought not to be in the first place, and it is making the world so terrible to live in. The very nucleus of our existence is threatened to an alarming rate and something must be done about it. 

And what could that be? Nothing else but DIVORCE. This is a term used to describe a man and a woman who once agreed to come together as husband and wife and due to "unreconcilable"  differences parted ways either on mutual consent or in a forceful manner. And the problems are never solved most the time after that desired separation. The products of the marriage ( kids, of course if any) are always on the disadvantaged side because most times they end up being raised by a single parent which sometimes makes the children miss something tangible in life.

To have and to hold, is a commitment to be made by married couples of today not the glitz and glamour on weddings but the real thing called marriage. Then, you ask what is marriage? Is the coming together of two persons ( a man and a woman ) to from two different background who agree to come together to become a one flesh inspite of all individual differences. So you see, it is meant to be a long term union of continuous learning and understanding each other it is not once in a lifetime event as it is potrayed. The ceremony can be a one-off event but the actual marriage in itself is a lifetime process. An instance, you divorce your first partner thinking that it is a best option ( maybe you feel the relationship can't be worked on) and what happens when you get married to the next partner?  It will still be the same circus of trying to understand each other, at this point one begins to feel that marriage is not worth it. But the truth remains that, you are still yet to understand what it means to have and to hold.

Here are the following points to look at for when you want to have to hold:

1. Have similar mindset to marriage ( understanding each other's purpose for marriage)

2. Understand each other's love languages.

3. Share similar religious and cultural belief( depends on your religion). It plays a great role on how one related to issues of the mind.

4. Embrace each other's realities.( Knowing each other's strengths and weaknesses)

5. Effective communication.

7. Be willing to tolerate each other.

8. No one is a finished 'article'. We are all a  'work' in progress.

9. Be patient with each other.

10. Allow the first two or five years process to flow in order to understand each other properly.

11. Let the love grow spontaneous not automatically.

12. Let God be at the center of everything, because He created marriage.

13. Be the best you can be at all times.

14. Expect changes in each other's character because the pressure of marriage can take its toll on the partner if not properly managed.

You see these points may vary from marriage to marriage, but one thing for sure, it's that every one wanting to get married or already married must experience things like this. Let's make our marriages work. Let's be committed to our vows and our marriage will turn around for the better.

To have, and to hold is the surest way to go.


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